Real Actual Listing Photos: Cardboard Dreams

It’s time once again for another installment of Real Actual Listing Photos. Once a month (or so) I round up some of the most bizarre listing photos from around the Seattle area and post them here, with brief excerpts from the real actual listing description, and probably a bit of snarky commentary.

If you want a more steady dosage of crazy listing photos, tune into Looney Listing, which is updated five times as a week with homes from all across the country. If you’ve got a nomination for a listing photo that should appear here, drop me a line.

No particular theme this month. Just enjoy a collection of odd listing photos found by readers and yours truly.

Enough explanation. Let’s get to the photos! Click the photo to view the Real Actual Listing.

4451 33rd Ave W, Seattle, WA 98199“Included are full architectural plans, with final permits expected in late July.”

No word in the listing on whether or not that sweet cardboard model is included. Found by Joan L.

19064 NW Hite Center Rd, Seabeck, WA 98380“Shown by appt. only after acceptable offer has been tendered. No Drive By’s – No exceptions, This Offering is unique!”

They really don’t want anyone looking at this listing, apparently. Whatever you do, definitely don’t go drive by 19064 NW Hite Center Rd in Seabeck to try to see for yourself just how “unique!” this offering is. Found by David B.

6920 174th St SW, Edmonds, WA 98026“‘New Construction’ has nothing on this remodeled residence!”

Cool story bro.

14808 228th Ave SE, Monroe, WA 98272“Beautiful Move-In Ready home on Estate Sized Lot.”

Bonus: Looks huge if you’re a fish! Found by Beth T.

10206 Rainier Ave S, Seattle, WA 98178“Imagine the possibilities!”

You’re going to have to crank your imagination up to 11 for this one.

713 23rd Ave, Seattle, WA 98122“Urban Bungalow with unfinished basement and off street parking rare on 23rd!”

I think there might be an inverse correlation between the number of exclamation points in a listing description and the desirability of the home. Found by Rob M.

Let me know if you have an idea for a future “Real Actual Listing Photos” theme, and be sure to check out Looney Listing for listing photo amusement throughout the month.


About The Tim

Tim Ellis is the founder of Seattle Bubble. His background in engineering and computer / internet technology, a fondness of data-based analysis of problems, and an addiction to spreadsheets all influence his perspective on the Seattle-area real estate market.

12 comments:

  1. 1
    Oahu Realty says:

    Thanks for the link to Looney Listing – a good place to get a daily laugh!

  2. 2

    Tim, you are really showing your ignorance on this one, and I really now wonder if you do live in the Seattle area. In Seattle it’s crank your imagination to 12! ;-)

    There was a similar picture from one of my listings about 3 years ago which made the Off-Topic detrimental listing photos. As I explained back then, there is a reason I included photos of messy conditions. It’s so that buyers knew what they were in for when they visited the property. If you can’t control the condition of the property, you don’t want buyers to be disappointed when they see your listing. Actually, no matter what the situation, you don’t want a buyer to be disappointed when they see a listing.

  3. 3
    The Tim says:

    RE: Kary L. Krismer @ 2 – I’m actually impressed that the agent was brave enough to venture inside to get photos. I’d be afraid to even open the door…

  4. 4

    RE: The Tim @ 3

    I just visited two houses like that…well one exactly like that and the other a tad better. On one of them the house is going to go to the buyer with all that stuff still there. So the photo is a disclosure that they are getting all that crap, because no one is coming back to take it out before closing. (Kary the 22D is modified to indicate “as is” includes the trash.) Every single room is filled top to bottom like that and no one is going to empty it. The buyer understands that and is buying it “as is”.)

    So the photo just might be a “what you see is what you get” disclosure.

  5. 5
    Erik says:

    The cardboard model is actually pretty funny. Reminds me of Zoolander.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ffj8SHrbk0

    What is this? A center for ants????!!!

  6. 6
    wreckingbull says:

    Re: #5

    Clear all the junk out, and open a new Azteca franchise.

    How is that for imagining the possibilities?

    P.S. Don’t click on the listing and look at the bathroom photos unless you have a strong estómago. Someone pumped some mud without backing the truck all the way up.

    Adios.

  7. 7

    By The Tim @ 3:

    RE: Kary L. Krismer @ 2 – I’m actually impressed that the agent was brave enough to venture inside to get photos. I’d be afraid to even open the door…

    There was one listing I went to where the smell was so bad I could barely make it to a table to put my card on it. Unfortunately pictures can’t warn you of odors.

    But as far as mess, you should have seen some of the REOs back in 2009 or so. It took the banks a while to figure out that they could get more money if they removed the possessions first. And as to Ardell’s comment, back then I saw a short sale that the entire house was filled with stuff about 3-4′ high, and there were just paths through the stuff so that you get get to different parts of the house. And there was a detached garage that was filled to the ceiling with stuff. I don’t remember for sure what happened, but I think it did get foreclosed. Can you imagine buying that house at foreclosure and then discovering all that?

  8. 8
    Jonness says:

    “Shown by appt. only after acceptable offer has been tendered. No Drive By’s – No exceptions, This Offering is unique!”

    IOW, seller is cooking meth in the trailer, and showing the house would surely lead to getting arrested. So make an offer, and give him 5 days to finish his meth batch prior to viewing the trailer. Remember, absolutely no driving by and looking at the trailer through binoculars!

  9. 9

    Do Realtors Take These Kind of Pictures to Stage Homes?

    Or is this just such a frenzied low listing environment that scarce qualified buyers don’t care?

  10. 10
    Blake says:

    Funny!
    http://www.theguardian.com/books/2014/jul/18/how-to-sound-estate-agent-seven-tips
    1 Euphemise relentlessly

    “Compact” – tiny.
    “Ample storage” – a broom cupboard, big enough for exactly one broom.
    “Double bedroom” – a room that is no more than one inch wider and one inch longer than the world’s smallest double bed.
    “In an imposing building” – in a brutalist tower block.
    “An opportunity to put your own stamp on” – a disgusting wreck. I once went with some friends to see a house where there was a patch of dark-stained wall with matted hair stuck to it, and a small, framed “Home Sweet Home” picture in the hallway was covered in rusty blood–spatter. The previous occupants had really put their own stamp on the place.

    2 Use the magic get-out clause

    If fanatical euphemism is insufficient, reach for the very useful phrase “in our opinion”. You can fairly describe a mouldy and plague-ridden hovel in a destitute area known only for its knife crime and remarkable number of boarded-up shops as “a delightfully presented apartment that is close to all local amenities in an up-and-coming area” – as long as you insert the disclaimer “in our opinion” every couple of clauses. Because the world is full of idiots with barkingly wrong opinions, right? This trick completely insulates you from any subsequent legal complaint, in our opinion.

    etc…

  11. 11

    RE: softwarengineer @ 9

    We don’t have the right or authority to alter someone’s home without their permission. We can only take the listing…or not. Most of the time the owners do give me permission and also help me get the house in presentable “photo” condition. But you can’t think that all agents can just go in and change someone’s house without their permission, do you?

    We must under mls rules put at least one exterior photo, which is why sometimes you see one photo only. If the seller really doesn’t want a picture of his house at all, the one photo can be of a squirrel on the front lawn…or a trailer at the back of the property behind the house. I’ve seen one of a telephone pole near the corner of the lot. The reality was the seller didn’t want ANY photos, but the mls required at least one exterior photo. Some exceptions. Condos can use an interior and vacant land can use a plat map. But no photo at all results in a fine to the agent.

    Real estate is not always pretty…one photo is required. …and the one you are making the most fun of…went pending pretty quickly.

  12. 12

    By Ardell DellaLoggia @ 11:

    RE: softwarengineer @ 9

    We don’t have the right or authority to alter someone’s home without their permission. We can only take the listing…or not. Most of the time the owners do give me permission and also help me get the house in presentable “photo” condition. But you can’t think that all agents can just go in and change someone’s house without their permission, do you?

    Yep, that should be sort of obvious, but sometimes I’m afraid even agents forget that. As I said in post 2 above, “If you can’t control the condition of the property . . . .”

    And often if you do make a change (with permission) the change will be only temporary, and if that’s the case it taking pictures of something cleaned up would be like using pictures which are three years old, back when the carpet and paint was new, etc. Misleading.

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