I got Suzanned

[The Tim]

[kpom]

[wreckingbull]

[redmondjp]

[biliruben]

Ardeloscopy.

[Ouch!]

How about Deborah Arends, the agent who argued on the 60 Minutes report about Redfin that she needs her 6% commision? In her immortal words:
"I think what's happened is a lot of expenses have gone up, everything from postage to gas, which affect real estate agents' profits."

According to the 60 Minutes story she's also quite the saleperson:
When the house is ready, she then targets potential buyers as well as agents, and holds an open house to dazzle them.

Help! I can't stop myself from taking out a liar loan because I was DeborArended at that open house!

[B]

... an official SeattleBubble "anti-open-house" afternoon at a pub.

Why spend the nicest weekends of the year getting dragged around to crap-hole after, er, "investment" by Suzanne, when you could be out having a cold one and making jokes about real-estate clerks and watching the ball game?

It would be great to get even 25 people to show up. I'd drop by just to cheer on the newly temporarily priced-out-forever masses. And of course to mercilessly mock our local RE chearleaders around a pitcher of Hale's pale ale.

Oh, we could even hold the first event in BALLARD!

Also, in response to the 6% commission on an already inflating asset not being "enough", maybe someone should tell the real-estate-clerk that it's freaking 2007, and there are better uses of fuel than driving a Suzanne-mobile around from house to house, boiling off gallons of 92 octane in the Beemer. Ya think? By that token, Redfin is "green" house-hunting.

[phinneygirl]

[Alan]

[Eleua]

That Suzanne video is pretty darned creepy. It's like HRC sans the flying lamps.

Call me a cynic (like that has ever happened...), but I see this scenario playing out thusly:

Hubby caves in because he hasn't played 'sink the sub' with shrew/wife since the second trimester. That would be 16 months ago. He is expecting an evening of bed sprints, but that cobra he married is perpetually tired due to the 3yo and 1yo. No boom-boom tonight.

Icy wife is looking to nest, but knows that marshmallow hubby can't afford it down at the cube farm, so she is looking at the guy in the corner office.

Hubby is working 80 hour weeks trying to get promoted so he can make the payment once the 3/27 adjusts. By that time, the firstborn is ready for those good schools the Tasmanian Devil of a wife wanted so badly. The irony is she doesn't want junior in any public school so that's another $1500 post-tax out the door for Montessori. She can't drive the 1993 Ford Taurus to school because all the other moms in the 'hood are drivng Lexus SUVs, so that becomes the next 'conversation' they have.

Bills are stacking up, and hubby's parents are sending money to keep them from defaulting and moving in with them. Captain Creampuff is about to succumb to Karoshi, and the wife (who probably has $150K in student loans for a JD that is going unused) is making the sheets sing with the VP of marketing that she meets at the health club.

A year (and two refis) later, our suburban warrior is now the proud father of another child that has the same name as his boss (at the behest of the mother). His mother-in-law is moving into the home office, and he now has a dark, damp corner of the basement to work when not changing diapers, shuttling kids to and from ballet class, or contemplating suicide.

The wife is looking hot, in an icy sort of way, but he hasn't done the horizontal mombo in some time. She gets her hair done, and buys a mid-thigh LBD, and seems to be a big hit at office parties. His kids all call his boss by his first name, and think he is "funny."

On his next business trip, one of his colleagues tells him that he and his girlfriend joined the "mile-high" club. Hubby wonders if he will ever join the "2009" club.

After the 4th refi, his wife files for divorce and leaves him with the house and debt. He now can't afford the house and has to pay maintenance and child support for 3 kids. He gets DNA tests on the three kids only to find out that there are 3 different fathers, but state law says that he still pays for all three kids.

Ice Queen is now the wife of the VP of marketing, living in an even better suburb, and eventually has a lesbian affair with some RE agent she met when her kids were young. VP of marketing is banging his secretary, and the original hubby is living in a flophouse.

It's your classic American story.

[BelRenter]

[ayles]

[Alan]

[rose-colored-coolaid]

[Eleua]