{"id":14362,"date":"2011-02-10T10:03:55","date_gmt":"2011-02-10T18:03:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/seattlebubble.com\/blog\/?p=14362"},"modified":"2012-08-23T20:37:31","modified_gmt":"2012-08-24T03:37:31","slug":"real-actual-listing-photos-kitchens-skies-glowing-orbs","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/seattlebubble.com\/blog\/2011\/02\/10\/real-actual-listing-photos-kitchens-skies-glowing-orbs\/","title":{"rendered":"Real Actual Listing Photos: Kitchens! Skies! Glowing Orbs!"},"content":{"rendered":"

Whoops, sorry about the radio silence yesterday. Busy day snuck right up on me. To make it up to you, here’s an extra-long collection of real actual listing photos. Enough excuses though, let’s get on with it.<\/p>\n

It’s time for another installment of Real Actual Listing Photos<\/a>. Once a month (or so) I round up some of the most bizarre listing photos from around the Seattle area and post them here, with brief excerpts from the real actual listing description, and probably a bit of snarky commentary.<\/p>\n

The idea for this series stems from the ongoing forum thread Detrimental Listing Photos<\/a>, which is where you should post your nominations for next month’s Real Actual Listing Photos post.<\/p>\n

No particular theme this month, other than the usual theme of bizarre and disturbing listing photos.<\/p>\n

Enough explanation. Let’s get to the photos! Click the photo to view the Real Actual Listing.<\/p>\n

\"18521<\/a>“Great room with over 1000 SF+. The great room is the size of many small ramblers by itself!”<\/p>\n

Big enough for three big-screen TVs, just for the hell of it! And a tanning bed! And another TV! I count at least seven TVs spread throughout this house. NICE.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\"705<\/a>“This unit sits on the first floor of the very desireable Vertigo complex completely renovated in 2007”<\/p>\n

It looks like they’re trying to induce vertigo with this bizarre, blurred & hyper-saturated listing photo.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\"2721<\/a>“This elegant sky rise with views of Elliot Bay will leave you breathless.”<\/p>\n

Too bad the all-consuming darkness destroyed the breathless view. Hat tip to Matt Goyer<\/a> on this one. I thought it needed a little something… extra<\/em><\/a>, so I whipped up an alternate version<\/a>.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\"19001<\/a>“Awaits your vision & creativity.”<\/p>\n

See if you can spot the extra-special touch in this kitchen. Here’s a close-up view<\/a> in case you’re stumped.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\"181<\/a>“A must see! Nicest in neighborhood.”<\/p>\n

By “must see” they of course meant that you must see the home in person to get any idea of what it looks like since these microscopic pics (shown actual size) won’t be giving you any ideas. Oh, and good luck finding “Bergggren Drive” if you do want to go see it.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\"4325<\/a>“For some buyers, this and the great location next to Discovery Park may be enough to consider buying this home.”<\/p>\n

Wow, such conviction<\/em>. I’m sold. Also, I’m sure<\/em> that this photo is totally representative<\/em> of the view you have from this house. Also note the subtle touch of the Corvette parked right in front of the home in photo #1.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\"11545<\/a>“Spacious kitchen, dining room combo.”<\/p>\n

The kitchen is so spacious<\/em> you’ll get dizzy and lose your balance just gazing upon it.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\"2310<\/a>“Light & bright spacious house.”<\/p>\n

Maybe if we shoot this in black and white with all the lights turned off, nobody will notice how cluttered the kitchen is!<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\"11026<\/a>“Living room includes gas fireplace and built in shelving.”<\/p>\n

Entry room includes glowing nuclear orb of death. DO NOT LOOK DIRECTLY INTO GLOWING NUCLEAR ORB OF DEATH.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\"14350<\/a>“Spacious 3900 square foot contemporary home with 4 bedrooms, great water views and a large lower level rec room.”<\/p>\n

Nothing says “this home is worth $625,000” like a leak bucket in the middle of the living room. “Great water views” indeed. Up close and personal.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\"611<\/a>“$999K Includes the amazing furniture—1,299K includes nearly everything you see—including the amazing art!”<\/p>\n

This one isn’t in Seattle, but it was too incredible not to share. Check out that… um… amazing<\/em> table in the back-left. Yowza.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\"611<\/a>…in case the “amazing art” and the “amazing furniture” was just too subtle<\/em>.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n

Let me know if you have an idea for the next “Real Actual Listing Photos” theme.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Whoops, sorry about the radio silence yesterday. Busy day snuck right up on me. To make it up to you, here’s an extra-long collection of real actual listing photos. Enough excuses though, let’s get on with it. It’s time for another installment of Real Actual Listing Photos. Once a month (or so) I round up…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[205,206],"tags":[565,668,620,669],"coauthors":[],"class_list":["post-14362","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor","category-features","tag-bad-photos","tag-detrimental-listing-photos","tag-photos","tag-real-actual-listing-photos"],"yoast_head":"\nReal Actual Listing Photos: Kitchens! 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