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Recession-Plagued Nation Demands New Bubble To Invest In

The_TimThe_Tim
edited July 2008 in The Economy
Recession-Plagued Nation Demands New Bubble To Invest In
The Onion wrote:
WASHINGTON—A panel of top business leaders testified before Congress about the worsening recession Monday, demanding the government provide Americans with a new irresponsible and largely illusory economic bubble in which to invest.

"What America needs right now is not more talk and long-term strategy, but a concrete way to create more imaginary wealth in the very immediate future," said Thomas Jenkins, CFO of the Boston-area Jenkins Financial Group, a bubble-based investment firm. "We are in a crisis, and that crisis demands an unviable short-term solution."

The current economic woes, brought on by the collapse of the so-called "housing bubble," are considered the worst to hit investors since the equally untenable dot-com bubble burst in 2001. According to investment experts, now that the option of making millions of dollars in a short time with imaginary profits from bad real-estate deals has disappeared, the need for another spontaneous make-believe source of wealth has never been more urgent.
One of the things I obviously aspire to with The Naked Loon is to reach the quality level of The Onion some day. Dang, they're funny.

Comments

  • rose-colored-coolaidrose-colored-coolaid
    The Onion wrote:
    "We are in a crisis, and that crisis demands an unviable short-term solution."

    Definitely the best quote of the article. I just don't think they emphasized how urgent the need for a new speculative bubble is. If something doesn't show up in the next 3-9 months...
  • TJ_98370TJ_98370
    .
    Tim,

    The Onion article you posted is spooky close in overall message to a serious, authentic article written by Eric Janszen. Check it out.


    The Next Bubble: Priming the markets for tomorrow's big crash:

    ..... the Internet and housing hyperinflations transpired within a period of ten years, each creating trillions of dollars in fake wealth, is, I believe, only the beginning. There will and must be many more such booms, for without them the economy of the United States can no longer function. The bubble cycle has replaced the business cycle.....

    .....Our economy is in serious trouble. Both the production-consumption sector and the FIRE (finance, insurance, real estate) sector know that a debt-deflation Armageddon is nigh, and both are praying for a timely miracle, a new bubble to keep the economy from slipping into a depression.......
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  • rose-colored-coolaidrose-colored-coolaid
    I'm just trying to figure out when economic depression, or recession even, became synonymous with Armageddon. It's almost like "if I have to go back to not buying a new car every 2.5 years I will certainly die!"

    </sigh>
  • WestSideBillyWestSideBilly
    rose-colored-coolaid wrote:
    I'm just trying to figure out when economic depression, or recession even, became synonymous with Armageddon. It's almost like "if I have to go back to not buying a new car every 2.5 years I will certainly die!"

    </sigh>

    I think a big part of it is political. Politicians don't want a recession to be in place during an election, as recessions create greater opportunity for fresh faces to challenge the status quo, so the political machine has done what it could to delay/mask any signs of recession. Combine that with ~10 years of "new economy" hoopla in the media, and people forget that every 8-10 years a recession is necessary to clean the system out. By trying desperately to avoid recession, we've created a much worse situation.

    As someone (may have been you, or possibly sniglet?) pointed out in the blog comments, Japan had a huge recession and they got through it. I think people got used to 0% car loans, easy money from their HELOCs, and forgot how things really work. To them this probably does seem like Armageddon.
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