It’s time for another installment of Real Actual Listing Photos. Once a month (or so) I round up some of the most bizarre listing photos from around the Seattle area and post them here, with brief excerpts from the real actual listing description, and probably a bit of snarky commentary.
The idea for this series stems from the ongoing forum thread Detrimental Listing Photos, which is where you should post your nominations for next month’s Real Actual Listing Photos post.
This month’s theme is vehicles. The first rule of real estate photography is move the dang cars when you’re shooting the outside of the house. Obviously many of these agents never bothered to read the rulebook. Every one of the photos below is the primary photo for the listing.
Enough explanation. Let’s get to the photos! Click the photo to view the Real Actual Listing.
“You are just minutes to freeways…”
Seriously, just step out the front door, take two steps across your “front yard,” hop into your sweet ride, and BOOM, you’re on the freeway!
“Great price for Incredible Mt Rainier & lake views.”
Just sit in your boat in the driveway and imagine being on the lake! Or put on your climbing gear, head out onto your deck, and imagine yourself on the snow-capped peaks of the Cascades!
“House is to big for current owner, she is downsizing!”
…no word on whether the yellow-Hummer-driving owner was a REALTOR©®™³. A reader actually sent me this listing separately for the amusing detail in photo #15. See if you can spot it.
“2car garage is oversized & extra storage room.”
You didn’t really need an actual house, did you? Just a big garage to park your Hummer in (er, next to), right?
“Warm and gracious gentleman farm with wonderful views located above 60 acres & Willows Golf course.”
Okay, what is a “gentleman farm,” or do I really want to know?
“Two car garage with built in shelving. Low maintenace yard and plenty of parking!”
See? See how much parking there is? Let me demonstrate! VROOOM!
“One of the best waterfront properties on the lake.”
Okay okay, but do those sweet rowboats come with the home? Don’t lead me on here!
“Over $300,000 In new arena, roof, septic, Rare Opportunity if you want to board and train. .this is it.”
I admit this one has nothing to do with our theme, but I came across it while putting this post together and just had to share. Seriously, what the heck? Also: Pro tip Mr. Listing Agent—proper punctuation is your friend.
Let me know if you have an idea for the next “Real Actual Listing Photos” theme.
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Most of the Houses Have Fuel Eating Vehicles in the Driveway
They need to sell fast to afford getting to the Everett plant, when they were transferred to the Tanker contract.
The one with the motorcycle probably drives that, albeit,its now in the maintenance shop for lots of engine work and quickly wore out brakes and tires, etc, from driving it like a car milage….LOL
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For the photo 15 link the hookah and tubes hanging with the magic carpet folded upon the desk give a hint of a magical experience available for the new buyer. Not sure what the freezer next to the sink is for….maybe to keep the genie on ice until required?
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How do you get into the cabinet (next to the fridge) in the Hookah Lounge?
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The last one is an equestrian riding arena. In recent years, those engineered “EZ Up” shelters and arenas have become more popular, mainly because they are easier to get permitted. King Co. has made it virtually impossible to add a stick-built covered arena to your facility, so people are putting up these, which qualify as “temporary” structures.
Is it pretty? No. Is it practical (in a place where you can’t ride 6+ months out of the year due to weather)? Totally.
The price on this place looks pretty good for a 19-stall facility. If managed decently, you could pay your mortgage and generate a profit.
The punctuation errors? Unforgivable.
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Oh, and #5 is a gentleman’s farm – which is just a fancy way of saying “non-working farm”. Usually it’s an estate size lot and it has enough space to support horses or small livestock, but not enough to produce any significant farm revenue.
Gentleman aka gentleman’s farms were originally owned by people of “independent means” ie: they didn’t need the farm to produce income.
And that’s your farm report for the day…
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Clear sign of a primitive basement…they should have taken a picture of a vaporizer
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I saw a white rabbit in that picture
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The house with the motorcycle is a short sale. The bike and truck are there to show what the homeowner bought after a cashout refi.
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The “rowboats” are a pontoon and a float tube. Both are quite popular and practical for fishing lakes. The pontoons are pretty sweet for floating rivers too as they are very maneuverable, plus light enough to access the water in tight spots. Mine spends more days floating rivers than fishing lakes.
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By deejayoh @ 7:
Were you “ten feet tall” when you spotted it? Tim’s title tells all.
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RE: GreenAcres @ 5 –
I just helped a friend who works in NYC buy a “Gentleman’s Farm” in Connecticut. Closing in about a week. My brother-in-law in Princeton NJ bought one in PA several years ago and he keeps horses there for his own use.
Usually it’s someone who works in the City who wants a weekend getaway place that’s close enough to drive to. A secondary purpose is to pay it off while you are working and then retire to it. It usually has horses and possibly some other livestock vs “crops”.
My friend from NYC is very surprised that the goats are coming with the house. Not the horses…just the goats.
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RE: ARDELL @ 11 – sort of like leaving the lawnmower for the next owner. He could start a “gentleman” business
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By ARDELL @ 11:
I’ve seen some people try and sell their small farms with the livestock – never understood that. It’s asking the buyer to take on responsibility of care or worse, disposal (usually by hauling to auction or having the knacker come)… not very buyer friendly, IMO.
The last thing I want as a “gift with purchase” is livestock I have to feed or dispose of!! Not a very nice “welcome” to farm ownership! Ugh!
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By deejayoh @ 7:
Whooo R U?
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By ARDELL @ 11:
Your friend might want to look into livestock and “farming” a little more if s/he is surprised that someone is leaving behind their goats. Best of luck to the goats.
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By Sweet Pea @ 15:
Friends don’t let friends get goats…;-)
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RE: Sweet Pea @ 15 –
The neighbors are going to help with the goats since my friend is not buying the place as an every day residence.
Here’s the house. A couple of photos of the goats in there. I think they are awesome!
http://www.503juddrd.com/
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Oh lord – they are miniature goats… total escape artists and troublemakers. Good luck to your friends!
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You should consider a Mason County edition.
You will need a sub-category for vehicles on blocks without wheels and a Grand Prize for the photograph with the most dead appliances in the frame. 3 Barefoot children = 1 inoperative vehicle. No goats allowed, unless you’re up on that farm in Enumclaw…
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I have been looking more consistent on Redfin and Trulia just to see whats out there. I’m torn between good photos or bad. Sometimes the listing photos are great. We have been intrigued enough to drive buy the place. Everyone has turned out to be total dumps and much smaller than the photos. At least the bad listing photos are more accurate. Some are crazy, I had no idea there were so many weird houses and decorating nightmares out there. I’m an artist so I can appreciate a bit of kitch or uniqueness in a house but, wow, some are pretty over the top. And yes the giant gas hog Hummers are a nice touch.
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RE: 3rd Generation @ 19 –
barefoot children? inoperative vehicles? heck you do not have to leave Seattle too far. I suggest looking in South Park, White Center, Burien, and numerous areas in Kent, Renton, and Federal Way. North Seattle is ripe as well as various areas off Delridge in West Seattle.
Save yourself the gas on going to Mason! What you seek is right here in King!
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By ARDELL @ 17:
The little / pygmy ones are crazy cute.
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goats are distructive littles critters. they can peel the vinyl top off a cadillac about 90 seconds.
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http://www.johnlscott.com/propertydetail.aspx?IS=1&ListingID=300978354
here is a gentlemans farm gone wrong. new home on 20 acres in rural E. Pierce county.
what were they thinking…this place belongs on Mercer Island.. their fence building skills need work but it looks like they learned to split firewood. they froze their arss off last winter I bet during the long term power outages
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RE: Bryan @ 12 – If you leave behind the goats, you don’t have to worry about the lawnmower. On the other hand, she might be able to start a landscaping business with them.
http://www.igin.com/article-1718-goats-stealing-landscape-jobs.html
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How come this blog turned from insightful analysis to juvenile comments about pictures not even good for a laugh? If you do not know what a “gentleman’s farm” is just google it and spare us your ignorance.
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By Daniel @ 26:
Being that it is Tim’s blog, he asked the question and started the picture blog perhaps you are lost? Are you looking for a blog you can bully into submission of whatever agenda you wish to promote? It is obvious you are not Seattle Bubble material because you lack a sense of humor…move along now….there are plenty of other blogs that you can spread your venom on. Or start start one….call it Seattle Outraged Loons. I am sure you will have plenty of readers that will enjoy your poison.
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RE: Pegasus @ 27 – I would only add: Daniel, quit posting things that make me agree with Pegasus! ;-)
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RE: Pegasus @ 27 – So I see it is perfectly OK to make fun of people for correctly using a well defined expression, but calling this behavior juvenile makes one a “bully” that is “spreading venom”?
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By Kary L. Krismer @ 28:
OK noted. Now that part was really unfair and I apologize. Could I do something to make up for this mishap?
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By Daniel @ 26:
I just think it’s funny that you waited to make this complaint until after there was a data-filled analysis post higher up on the front page than this entry in my once-a-month light-hearted photo series.
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By The Tim @ 31:
If this came across as claiming a lack of insightful comment in general I have to apologize. All I can add is that I would rather see nothing for a few days than the same gap-filler nonsense without content found elsewhere. Of course I could just write when I have praise and move on without ever voicing this.
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RE: Daniel @ 32 – Hey I’ve got no problem with criticism. You should be aware though that I make very little money for running this site. I do it because I enjoy it, and as such, I post what interests or amuses me. Posts like this one aren’t “gap-filler,” they’re just what’s interesting to me. Your interests and mine don’t align perfectly, and that’s okay.
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RE: The Tim @ 33 – You make money at this? Sell out! I think we all need to question your objectivity!
;-)
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IHNMTS except the car in #1 is in the same exact spot in the satellite images.
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