It’s time for another installment of Real Actual Listing Photos. Once a month (or so) I round up some of the most bizarre listing photos from around the Seattle area and post them here, with brief excerpts from the real actual listing description, and probably a bit of snarky commentary.
The idea for this series stems from the ongoing forum thread Detrimental Listing Photos, which is where you should post your nominations for next month’s Real Actual Listing Photos post.
No theme this month, just a random assortment of high quality sales material.
Enough explanation. Let’s get to the photos! Click the photo to view the Real Actual Listing.
“The Enclave is a never-before/never-again opportunity to own a residence along the Lake Union waterfront seconds from downtown.”
Hey, since it doesn’t even exist yet (note “Year Built: 2012”), why not go all-out with the phony photo? Just throw whatever you want in there—improbable fireworks coming from every direction, some kind of nuclear flame cloud in the outdoor fireplace, and toss a flowing American flag in there just for good measure. And hey, as long as we’re making stuff up, let’s call an 11-minute drive to downtown “seconds.”
“This property has been remodeled over it’s past eight years with new roof, new black-top, new curbing and all units upgraded on turn overs.”
Note that the lion is this listing’s only photo. That is a cool lion, but really, the only photo of a $3.5M listing?
“Basement has been completely finished with 3rd bedroom and a family room, den or office…”
Because who doesn’t want to sit on a tiny ottoman and watch movies on a flat-screen TV while eating popcorn off a folding end table? Nobody, that’s who. Also, does that ceiling look “completely finished” to you? Hmm.
“Period details incl. coved-recessed ceilings, sculpted archways, built-in cabinets, double-hung windows, wide moldings, hardwood floors, panel doors, large fireplace and more.”
Not sure how the archways pictured in this listing could be considered “sculpted,” but hopefully the roses are included in the $450k price? The description’s closes: “Equity awaits!” It waits, and waits, and waits…
“Charming Classic 1928 Ballard Tudor with lots of old world charm still intact.”
Ahh, that’s what you call it when your chimney shoots up randomly through a room right in front of the door. “Old world charm.” Got it.
“Backyard has a little garden shed for storing the yard tool essentials.”
This place is just across the street from my old digs. Kenmore: where lawn furniture goes to die.
Let me know if you have an idea for the next “Real Actual Listing Photos” theme.