It’s time for another installment of Real Actual Listing Photos. Once a month (or so) I round up some of the most bizarre listing photos from around the Seattle area and post them here, with brief excerpts from the real actual listing description, and probably a bit of snarky commentary.
The idea for this series stems from the ongoing forum thread Detrimental Listing Photos, which is where you should post your nominations for next month’s Real Actual Listing Photos post.
One of the first rules of staging your home for a quick sale is to remove all of your personal effects, making the home as neutral as possible, thus allowing potential buyers to more easily imagine your home as their new home. However, some sellers apparently feel that their decorating skills—and more specifically, their artwork—are plenty neutral enough as-is. This post is dedicated to those sellers.
Enough explanation. Let’s get to the photos! Click the photo to view the Real Actual Listing.
“Pristine Capitol Hill contemporary sited on an historic serpentine street near Volunteer Park. A noble residence designed for entertaining.”
Buy this home and all your parties will look just like this! [art context]
“Pretty formal rooms with large picture windows and arched entryways.”
Oh, and giant killer bees. Did I mention the giant killer bees? [art context]
“Classy bathrooms, spacious decks on each level, fenced useable & spacious back yard.”
Because who wouldn’t want half-face SPOON lady staring at them while they sit on the toilet? Classy! [art context]
“Light & bright living & kitchen areas are open & have hrdwds, tile flrs & 2 fireplaces.”
I guess there isn’t a real estate abbreviation for “psychedelic George Washington.” [art context]
“Opulently Upgraded Contemporary Condo Privately Tucked Away on Protected Heron Sanctuary in Magnolia’s Best Secret, Discovery Place Condos!”
I Don’t Know How it is Possible But My Keyboard is Stuck in Title Case. I Blame the Giant Squid. [art context]
“Do not miss out on this great location home.”
Nothing says “I’m serious about selling my home” like a giant Emlo blanket hanging on the wall. [art context]
Let me know if you have an idea for the next “Real Actual Listing Photos” theme.