If you aren’t familiar with the Czech Sky, read this 2010 post.

The Czech Sky is still found in many Seattle-area home listings today. Here are just a few:

• 6522 34th Ave SW
• 934 N 78th St
• 13315 3rd Ave NE

The post “Modern Seattle home for sale with photoshopped Czech Sky” appeared first on Seattle Bubble.

For those who have been living in a TV culture vacuum for the last seven years, Parks & Recreation was an NBC TV show about local government and politics in a small fictional Indiana town. Although the show never really ventured to the west coast, they managed to slip a 30-second gag about the Seattle real estate market into their series finale last week.

I got a laugh out of it, anyway. Although, the thought that “giant commission checks” will still be common for real estate agents nearly a decade from now is somewhat depressing to someone who would like to see more disruption in that part of the market.

You can pre-order the complete series of Parks & Recreation on DVD on Amazon here.

Note to NBC lawyers: This 36-second clip is posted under the Fair Use Doctrine, for purposes of commentary.

The post Seattle Real Estate in 2023 (via Parks & Recreation) appeared first on Seattle Bubble.

Stop Complaining That I, Zathbog of Planet Cibwarv, Am Inflating U.S. Housing Prices

I’m told there’s a familiar narrative that unfolds whenever you try to buy property in a cosmopolitan American city these days. You find a place that you like, put in a bid that’s well above the asking price (just to be safe), and prepare to celebrate, even though the place itself isn’t very nice. It actually pretty much sucks. But it’s a place, and it’s sort of within walking distance of some stuff, so you’re excited. Then you get a call from your broker, who says that you’ve been outbid. “Don’t tell me,” you say. “Yup,” she replies. “It’s yet another alien gazillionaire parking cash in American real estate as a hedge against the volatile economy of his home planet.” This story must be getting old, but you have to stop complaining. It’s simply how the intergalactic economic system works now.

I understand your frustration—really, I do. Because of alien magnates like me, you can’t afford to own property (or even part of a floor of a property) in the city where you work and live. And it’s not like you’re middle-class or anything. You and your spouse make a lot of money at the corporate jobs you took so that you could afford to live in neighborhoods full of competing chain pharmacies and consumer banks. You’ll just have to come to grips with the fact that you’re not rich enough. You could look into the interstellar mining industry, where I made my gazillions, but—oh, wait, I forgot, your spaceships are awful and can’t even get to the star systems with valuable deposits. Never mind.

Read the rest…

The post A Humorous Take on Foreign Buyers Driving Up Prices appeared first on Seattle Bubble.

Here are my top 10 proposed future uses for the facility.

10. Museum for future generations to remember that Seattle used to have manufacturing
9. Two words: Ice Town
8. Microsoft data center | Employment: 5
7. Home of the world’s largest coffee roasting machine.
6. Townhomes, townhomes, townhomes!
5. Genetic research center dedicated to breeding pink ponies.
4. New mega-ultra-super-sanctuary for Mars Hill Church
3. Storage warehouse for Sonics merchandise produced when Seattle imagines the NBA will return
2. Massive indoor garden for the upcoming economic implosion and subsequent collapse of society
1. Low-income housing development for thousands of laid-off machinists

What are your top ideas?

[Update]
RedmondJP had the best reader suggestion: “The biggest indoor pot grow operation IN THE WORLD!”

The post Top 10 Future Uses for the 98-Acre Boeing Everett Factory appeared first on Seattle Bubble.

This video brings up a number of questions:

• Who is this nebulous evil entity that is “threatening the dream of home ownership”?
• How does a moving van across the street mean that my grandkid won’t be able to buy a home?
• Wouldn’t it put many NAR members out of business if everyone who bought a home stayed as long as the grandpa character in this ad?

Maybe NAR should stick to the painfully literal ads like the one with the family actually physically sitting on a fence.

The post Even More Delightful NAR Propaganda appeared first on Seattle Bubble.

[hana-flv-player video=”http://seattlebubble.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/Colbert-New-Monopoly.flv”
width=”600″
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You can watch the entire segment on the Colbert Nation site, but I just wanted to share that brief segment, since I’m a sucker for housing bubble humor.

I’d probably buy Colbert’s version of the game, if only for the novelty laughs. Or maybe they could sell it to schools to use as an educational tool.

The post True-to-Life Housing Bubble Monopoly Remake appeared first on Seattle Bubble.

The idea for this series stems from the ongoing forum thread Detrimental Listing Photos, which is where you should post your nominations for next month’s Real Actual Listing Photos post.

This month I got enough submissions from readers via email that our theme is reader-submitted photos. Thanks for the submissions, keep them coming!

Enough explanation. Let’s get to the photos! Click the photo to view the Real Actual Listing.

“Washer/dryer, on-demand hot water, sub zero refer, Melie dishwasher and great neighbors & an awesome community!”

Oddly, the listing agent forgot to mention the creepy hand that comes out of the closet in the laundry room and holds the door open. Also, I didn’t know Sub-Zero did drug paraphernalia.

“Very open floor plan, and lots of windows bring the natural light in.”

Yeah, everything about that photo just screams “natural” to me.

“Turn of the century style in this 4 bedroom, 2 bath home, arched doorways, hardwood flooring, wood fireplace…”

The listing doesn’t mention it, but I really hope the glowing mystery toys are included in the price.

“Sold with plans and permits to build new or buy as fixer as is…”

It’s called staging. Buyers like to be able to imagine themselves living in your home.

“Unique, BuiltGreen, Energy Star, Cust Cabs, Hydronic “in Floor” Heat, Thermobalance Valves, and Dedicated Heat Recovery, give this Enviro Safe home a top 4 Star rating.”

Wait, am I buying a house or a box of files with some free caulk thrown in? Also, that description is sporting some serious buzzword overload. Yikes.

“Estate Properties are exceptional by definition and this remarkable estate is without peer.”

Wait, I’m confused again. Am I buying a house or a baseball field? Oh, both? Well all right then.

Let me know if you have an idea for the next “Real Actual Listing Photos” theme.

The post Real Actual Listing Photos: User-Submitted Potpourri appeared first on Seattle Bubble.

While the housing market has had it’s ups and downs (and way downs) over the years, growth at Seattle Bubble has been nothing but up, up, up. Today, thousands of people visit every day to learn about the latest market happenings and participate in the lively discussions. Earlier this week we even passed the hundred-thousand comment mark.

You—the astute, sharp-witted, and attractive readers of Seattle Bubble—saw the bursting housing bubble a mile away. You wisely avoided the hype. You told Suzanne to stuff it, and did your own damn research.

In the end though, all you got out of all that hard work was the satisfaction of saving hundreds of thousands of dollars on your next home and the right to brag about your foresight online and at parties with underwater homedebtors.

Where the market is headed tomorrow, next month, and next year is anybody’s guess. Of course, you don’t have to guess. You can research the fundamentals and figure it out for yourself… but why bother, when the rewards are so slim?

That’s why today I’m proud to announce the a way to turn your wisdom about the future into cold, hard cash. Introducing the Seattle Bubble Real Estate Speculation Exchange, or RESEx, for short.

The RESEx Trading Floor

I know what you’re thinking: “How can that be possible? How does RESEx work?” Great question. I’m glad you asked.

With RESEx you can invest your long-saved dollars in indices based on individual homes. Is your best friend’s Crown Hill craftsman crashing? Cash in by shorting his home’s stock, or loading up on put options.

You can also use RESEx to make a call on an entire neighborhood. Is Ballard about to boom? Load up on some shares, quick! The financial opportunities made possible by RESEx are endless.

RESEx launches today (April 1st) in Seattle, with expansion to an additional 25 major U.S. cities planned by the end of 2011.

Finally the time has come to cash in on all of that hard-earned housing market insight. Join RESEx, and start building your future today.

The post New Exchange Turns Market Foresight Into Pure Profit appeared first on Seattle Bubble.

The idea for this series stems from the ongoing forum thread Detrimental Listing Photos, which is where you should post your nominations for next month’s Real Actual Listing Photos post.

No particular theme this month, other than the usual theme of bizarre and disturbing listing photos.

Enough explanation. Let’s get to the photos! Click the photo to view the Real Actual Listing.

“…large entertaining size deck overlooking in-ground pool and views. Must see!”

I think I’ve seen enough already. Ouch. My eyes. Hat tip to Marlow Harris on this one.

“The best of indoor/outdoor living…”

Including a front-row seat to the apocalypse!

“The spacious kitchen features plenty of counter space…”

Yes, the listing agent actually called this a “spacious kitchen.” Also note the dehumidifier sitting in the bathtub in photo #3. Yowza.

“Bring your creativity and restore this timeless home to its former splendor.”

It would appear that whoever processed these photos forgot to delete a layer of their creativity before they closed Photoshop.

“Gorgeous split level home in the heart of Kirkland.”

Okay, first, that’s not a split-level, it’s a split-entry, and “gorgeous split-entry” is an oxymoron. As for the photo, there is just so much going on here. The glowing dish of radiation on the end table, the sofa directly in front of the fireplace… but my favorite touch is the classy art above the fireplace. NICE.

“24 hour concierge services, rooftop terraces, yoga studio & well appointed gym complete this Villa in the sky.”

See, if we cleverly place a poster of Einstein in our primary listing photo, maybe the buyer will feel smart for spending 17% more than we paid in 2009. Better make sure it says his name in big bold print though, just in case they don’t get it.

Let me know if you have an idea for the next “Real Actual Listing Photos” theme.

The post Real Actual Listing Photos: Genius Edition appeared first on Seattle Bubble.

It’s time for another installment of Real Actual Listing Photos. Once a month (or so) I round up some of the most bizarre listing photos from around the Seattle area and post them here, with brief excerpts from the real actual listing description, and probably a bit of snarky commentary.

The idea for this series stems from the ongoing forum thread Detrimental Listing Photos, which is where you should post your nominations for next month’s Real Actual Listing Photos post.

No particular theme this month, other than the usual theme of bizarre and disturbing listing photos.

Enough explanation. Let’s get to the photos! Click the photo to view the Real Actual Listing.

“Great room with over 1000 SF+. The great room is the size of many small ramblers by itself!”

Big enough for three big-screen TVs, just for the hell of it! And a tanning bed! And another TV! I count at least seven TVs spread throughout this house. NICE.

“This unit sits on the first floor of the very desireable Vertigo complex completely renovated in 2007”

It looks like they’re trying to induce vertigo with this bizarre, blurred & hyper-saturated listing photo.

“This elegant sky rise with views of Elliot Bay will leave you breathless.”

Too bad the all-consuming darkness destroyed the breathless view. Hat tip to Matt Goyer on this one. I thought it needed a little something… extra, so I whipped up an alternate version.

“Awaits your vision & creativity.”

See if you can spot the extra-special touch in this kitchen. Here’s a close-up view in case you’re stumped.

“A must see! Nicest in neighborhood.”

By “must see” they of course meant that you must see the home in person to get any idea of what it looks like since these microscopic pics (shown actual size) won’t be giving you any ideas. Oh, and good luck finding “Bergggren Drive” if you do want to go see it.

“For some buyers, this and the great location next to Discovery Park may be enough to consider buying this home.”

Wow, such conviction. I’m sold. Also, I’m sure that this photo is totally representative of the view you have from this house. Also note the subtle touch of the Corvette parked right in front of the home in photo #1.

“Spacious kitchen, dining room combo.”

The kitchen is so spacious you’ll get dizzy and lose your balance just gazing upon it.

“Light & bright spacious house.”

Maybe if we shoot this in black and white with all the lights turned off, nobody will notice how cluttered the kitchen is!

“Living room includes gas fireplace and built in shelving.”

Entry room includes glowing nuclear orb of death. DO NOT LOOK DIRECTLY INTO GLOWING NUCLEAR ORB OF DEATH.

“Spacious 3900 square foot contemporary home with 4 bedrooms, great water views and a large lower level rec room.”

Nothing says “this home is worth $625,000” like a leak bucket in the middle of the living room. “Great water views” indeed. Up close and personal.

“$999K Includes the amazing furniture—1,299K includes nearly everything you see—including the amazing art!”

This one isn’t in Seattle, but it was too incredible not to share. Check out that… um… amazing table in the back-left. Yowza.

…in case the “amazing art” and the “amazing furniture” was just too subtle.

Let me know if you have an idea for the next “Real Actual Listing Photos” theme.

The post Real Actual Listing Photos: Kitchens! Skies! Glowing Orbs! appeared first on Seattle Bubble.

When I say “they” I’m referring to both the home seller and the seller’s agent, whose alleged job is to advise the seller on how best to sell their house. You would think that in today’s market, when the smallest defect can cause what few buyers are out there to look right past your listing, making your home look the best it can would be a no-brainer, especially if you’re going to put on an open house.

Unfortunately, as you can see below, not all sellers see things that way. Note that in this series I won’t be linking to the real actual listing, because that would just be cruel.

Agent: “Northwest home buyers are really into homes that have that ‘lodge’ feel lately. Tall ceilings, open floor plans, and exposed wood.”

Seller: “Hmm, well I can do the wood part, but that other stuff is a no-go. I’ll just throw a little extra wood in there to make up for everything else.”

Agent: “This light switch is installed upside down. You should probably fix that before we list.”

Seller: “How about if I throw a bizarre switch plate over it instead? That will distract them from the backward switch!”

Agent: “Be sure you vacuum thoroughly before the open house.”

Seller: “That’s silly. Why would I vacuum when all the buyers are just going to traipse a bunch of dirt and mud through the house anyway?”

Agent: “Why doesn’t this room have a closet?”

Seller: “Because we had to have somewhere to put the toilet. Duh.”

Agent: “That A/C unit in the window is ugly. Make sure you take it out before the open house.”

Seller: “A/C out of the window: check.”

Agent: “See if you can do something to spruce up the basement.”

Seller: “Hmm, let’s see… Seattle people like coffee, right? And ponies?”

All of the photos in the “Real Actual Home Staging” series were shot by The Tim at real actual open houses around Seattle.

The post Real Actual Home Staging: January Edition appeared first on Seattle Bubble.

The idea for this series stems from the ongoing forum thread Detrimental Listing Photos, which is where you should post your nominations for next month’s Real Actual Listing Photos post.

No particular theme this month, other than the usual theme of bizarre and disturbing listing photos.

Enough explanation. Let’s get to the photos! Click the photo to view the Real Actual Listing.

“Possible commercial rezone of this highly visible Rambler.”

In case you aren’t convinced how visible this rambler is, all eight photos are of the exterior. …and never mind the prominent prescient sign right in front of the house in the primary photo.

“The home has some very nice quality features throughout.”

The listing doesn’t say whether or not the cat in bathroom sink is included.

“Cir dr leads to your own pri Eden. … Kit w/ garden win…”

Best viewed full size. I’m having a pretty hard time deciphering the listing description, so I’m not sure which part refers to the super-skilled MS Paint job done on the walls and refrigerator in this kitchen.

“Upgrades: new roof & windows, hardwoods, kitch appliances, watering system, & sep entrance for office/large guest rm/den.”

The listing conveniently excludes mention of the micro fault line that apparently lies directly beneath the house.

“Elegant entertaining home soaring ceilings, walls of windows. Serene sitting.”

Who wouldn’t think “serene” when relaxing in a living room adorned with such tasteful, subdued art?

“Story book home with spacious day rooms on large serene lot. . This home has a multitude of windows that bring the outside in…”

I’m not sure it’s just the windows that are attempting to “bring the outside in” to this “story book home.”

Let me know if you have an idea for the next “Real Actual Listing Photos” theme.

The post Real Actual Listing Photos: Year-End Potpourri appeared first on Seattle Bubble.

Credit goes to Jonathan Coulton for the music and Jarrett Heather for the video.

Hat tip: BoingBoing

The post Slick Video Commentary on Suburbia appeared first on Seattle Bubble.

In my travels around the country everyone wants to know what I think it will take to get the housing market moving again. The answer is simple: first time homebuyers.

Sales Activity Pyramid – Built On First Time Buyers
If you think of the housing market in terms of a pyramid, the base is made up of “more affordable” housing which is usually represented by first time buyers; in a healthy market, this accounts for about 40% of all home sales. The middle of the pyramid represents mid-priced homes and primarily repeat buyers. The top of the pyramid represents the smallest number of buyers and the most expensive part of the housing market. As first time home buyer activity increases at the base it sets off a chain reaction of sales up the price points. It is this process that drives and sustains a healthy housing market (see chart).

So, his argument is that the best way to get the market rolling again is to recruit new buyers—investors, if you will—into this pyramid system? Intriguing…

Hey, wait a minute… This has a familiar ring to it… Where have I heard this model before? Oh yeah. Now I remember.

Federal Trade Commission:

Pyramid schemes now come in so many forms that they may be difficult to recognize immediately. However, they all share one overriding characteristic. They promise consumers or investors large profits based primarily on recruiting others to join their program, not based on profits from any real investment or real sale of goods to the public. Some schemes may purport to sell a product, but they often simply use the product to hide their pyramid structure.

Securities & Exchange Commission:

In the classic “pyramid” scheme, participants attempt to make money solely by recruiting new participants into the program.

Investopedia:

What Does Pyramid Scheme Mean?
An illegal investment scam based on a hierarchical setup. New recruits make up the base of the pyramid and provide the funding, or so-called returns, given to the earlier investors/recruits above them.

HowStuffWorks:

The main characteristic of a pyramid scheme is that participants only make money by recruiting more members.

Wikipedia:

A pyramid scheme is a non-sustainable business model that involves promising participants payment primarily for enrolling other people into the scheme, rather than from any real investment or sale of products or services to the public. Pyramid schemes are a form of fraud.

Is residential real estate inherently a pyramid scheme? No. At its most basic level, real estate is a place to live. If you buy a home you intend to live in, for a price that you feel is fair, why would you care whether or not new buyers are recruited into the market?

The problem comes when people start to view buying homes as a way to easy money (i.e. – a high-return investment). That most definitely is pyramid scheme thinking, and is exactly what caused the housing bubble to grow and continue for so long. If you’re justifying paying a high price for a home by telling yourself (or being told by a real estate “professional”) that it’s okay because more buyers will come into the market and drive up prices, you’ve fallen for a pyramid scheme.

Also, strictly speaking, Lennox’s pyramid diagram really doesn’t make any sense at all, since by definition the median price is the sale price which exactly half of all sales are above, and half below. In his pyramid, less than a quarter of the sales are shown above the median price, which is impossible.

I understand why Lennox, as a real estate salesman, would write posts and “white papers” promoting programs that get as many new people into the housing market as possible, and even why he would write nonsensical statements like “many first time buyers are in a strong position to buy but lack the necessary 3.5% down payment.” I just hope that people have learned their lesson from the bubble about the non-sustainability and consequences of real estate pyramids, and the risk of taking advice and market predictions from real estate professionals at face value.

Hat tip: EconE

The post The Housing Market “Sales Activity Pyramid” appeared first on Seattle Bubble.

The idea for this series stems from the ongoing forum thread Detrimental Listing Photos, which is where you should post your nominations for next month’s Real Actual Listing Photos post.

In this month’s edition of Real Actual Listing Photos, we enjoy a blast from the past: Kendra “Bubbles are for Bathtubs” Todd, now a listing agent right here in Seattle. Since she’s been making some headlines lately, I thought we could check out a few of her listings…

The depressing irony of it all is that every last one of her dozens of listings are bank-owned homes (including the brand-new, fancy 200 W Highland condos). In other words, Kendra has figured out a way to create a business that thrives on the inevitable end result of millions of homebuyers believing the nonsense spewed by people like Kendra during the bubble.

Enough explanation. Let’s get to the photos! Click the photo to view the Real Actual Listing.

“Close to major highways, hospitals, and Allenmore Golf Club.”

Wait, is “close to hospitals” really a major feature people look for in a home? Yikes.

“This spacious one level condo has over 1,000 square feet and features Pergo style wood floors…”

Weirdest looking wood floors I’ve ever seen.

“Large bedrooms with lots of closet space.”

Apparently Kendra and I have different definitions of “lots of closet space.”

“The home has great curb appeal, an open floor plan…”

The floor plan isn’t the only thing that’s open… *rimshot*

“…home features original hardwood floors, original doors, archways and brick fireplace.”

Nice walls.

“This unit features over 1,300 square feet and includes hardwood floors, island kitchen with stainless appliances, dining area, master bedroom, full bathroom and den/office.”

I can’t believe she didn’t mention the brick walls that have been tastefully painted bright pink and apparently have some sort of blinding portal action going on.

“1,660 square feet includes living room w/ wood burning fireplace, kitchen w/ eating space & double oven, dining room & lower level rec room w/ a second fireplace!”

If that second fireplace doesn’t say “welcome home,” I don’t know what does.

“It has an open & airy feel w/ vaulted ceilings, Pergo flr, living rm w/ gas fireplace, dining rm & kitchen w/ stainless appliances. Just updated w/ new carpet & a fresh coat of paint!”

Obviously all the dust in the house is taking full advantage of the “open & airy feel” here. Also: what’s with the mystery blue cord running around the corner into the bathroom?

Let me know if you have an idea for another “Real Actual Listing Photos” theme.

The post Real Actual Listing Photos: Kendra Todd Edition appeared first on Seattle Bubble.

The idea for this series stems from the ongoing forum thread Detrimental Listing Photos, which is where you should post your nominations for next month’s Real Actual Listing Photos post.

No particular theme this month, other than the usual theme of bizarre and disturbing listing photos.

Enough explanation. Let’s get to the photos! Click the photo to view the Real Actual Listing.

“There are 5 technical bedrooms, including a main floor master with attached bath and jetted tub, a loft and 2 bonus rooms.”

I wonder if this is one of the “technical bedrooms” (that thing on the right could be a mattress I guess?) or one of the “bonus” rooms?

“The floorplan flows seamlessly including living room, separate eating area, new kitchen w/ granite counters & stainless appliances, tiled bath accentuated with timeless design & hardwood floors throughout entire home.”

Bonus! Shape-shifting front door that doubles in width once you step inside the house!

Double Bonus! Omnipresent Czech Sky!

“KITCHEN HAS WHITE PAINTED FINISH, BLACK GRANITE COUNTERTOPS, AND CALCUTTA GOLD MARBLE BACKSPLASH.”

Speaking of shape-shifting, I’m really not sure what the heck is going on in the KITCHEN of this home, but I think I’d be a little afraid of finding out.

“Selling agent & buyer to verify all information to buyer’s satisfaction.”

Note that this is the sole photo on the listing, and yes, it is shown full size.

“Attractive two bedroom home just 1/2 mile from Green Lake and convenient to bus lines and commuting routes.”

…and just 200 feet from 85th and Hwy 99. I love the hastily “erased” real estate sign. It appears to be a Windermere sign, and the home has been listed with the same Windermere agent since originally hitting the market over 480 days ago. I assume there must be some MLS rule against displaying your brokerage name in your photos, and this was an easier solution for the agent than choosing another angle for the photo (or even bothering to shoot any new photos since June of 2009).

“The spacious living room has hardwood floors and is anchored by a wood burning fireplace!”

One detail the agent apparently failed to notice about the living room is the mirrored shelf next to the fireplace.

Let me know if you have an idea for the next “Real Actual Listing Photos” theme.

The post Real Actual Listing Photos: Fun-House Edition appeared first on Seattle Bubble.

Feel free to download the original pdf from Trulia, just to make sure I’m not making this up.

The post Trulia Geography FAIL appeared first on Seattle Bubble.

One theory we’ve all heard over and over for why real estate is always a good long-term investment is that “they’re not making any more land.” As it turns out, “they” may not be making any more land, but apparently you can make your own.

What is Spiral Island II? It is a tropical island paradise floating on over 100,000 recycled plastic bottles. It is about 20 meters (60 feet) in diameter, always growing and improving.

From 1998 to 2005, Rishi Sowa hand-built and lived on the first Spiral Island, which floated on over 300,000 recycled bottles! It was destroyed by Hurricane Emily in 2005. Rishi has now built an even better island at Isla Mujeres, Mexico, in a lagoon which offers shelter from bad weather! Rishi will continue to make improvements to the Island, so it will always be a eco-work-of-art in progress!

If you’re interested in learning more about this crazy idea, you can check out a bunch of videos about Mr. Sowa’s project, or hit his website, the Spiral Island Social Network.

With plenty of water, no hurricanes, and lots of yuppies addicted to bottled water, the Seattle area seems like the perfect place to build a spiral island of your very own. DIY waterfront property!

Hat tip: Boing Boing

The post They’re not making any more land… OR ARE THEY? appeared first on Seattle Bubble.

By “they” I mean both the home seller and the seller’s agent, whose alleged job is to advise the seller on how best to sell their house. You would think that in today’s market, with inventory near peak levels and buyers already in winter hibernation, making your home look the best it can would be a no-brainer, especially if you’re going to put on an open house.

Unfortunately, as you can see below, apparently not all sellers see things that way.

Agent: “Buyers like to see nice kitchen upgrades, like granite countertops.”

Seller: “Granite countertops? No problem!”

Agent: “A fresh coat of paint can go a long way toward making your home shine for buyers.”

Seller: “Paint over everything. Got it.”

Agent: “Buyer’s want to be able to imagine themselves living in the home.”

Seller: “Good, because they’re going to have to use their imaginations if they want to know what the bedroom hiding under all this crap actually looks like.”

Agent: “The unfinished basement is a little dark and uninviting, see what you can do about that before we list.”

Seller: “Lamp: check. Chair: check. That was easy!”

All of the photos in the “Real Actual Home Staging” series were shot by The Tim at real actual open houses around Seattle.

The post Real Actual Home Staging: Take 1 appeared first on Seattle Bubble.

This month’s theme: Seattle condos!

The idea for this series stems from the ongoing forum thread Detrimental Listing Photos, which is where you should post your nominations for next month’s Real Actual Listing Photos post.

Enough explanation. Let’s get to the photos! Click the photo to view the Real Actual Listing.

At left: The primary listing photo for Unit 401 in 120 1st Ave. W. At right, the primary listing photo for Unit 502 in the same building. From the description of unit 502: “rooftop deck with grill and amazing views of the city.” Of course, none of the photos happen to show that view. Also be sure to check out the kitchen and bathroom shots on that one. Priceless.

“This unit boasts large scale living spaces, old growth oak floors, mohogany pocket doors…”

Listing agent boasts a camera-mounted flash that casts large distracting shadows and an inability to spell “mahogany.”

“Just blocks from Seattle U on First Hill.”

Nice… um… blocks?

“Amenities include roof top patio with a 360 view of Seattle and the Puget sound.”

…and a glowing yellow bathroom. Did we mention the glowing yellow bathroom?

“Open kit w/ s. s. applian, granite cntrs, dbl sink, eat bar. Din rm off kit w/ balcony.”

The description isn’t the only thing that the agent abbreviated to save space. This photo of the “open kit” is shown actual size.

As I was browsing photos of Seattle condos, I noticed something of a running theme… Apparently buyers won’t believe that you have a keen vertical washer/dryer combo unless you include it in your listing photos. Or something.

Let me know if you have an idea for another “Real Actual Listing Photos” theme.

The post Real Actual Listing Photos: Seattle Condo Edition appeared first on Seattle Bubble.

I was watching the classic real estate flick The Money Pit this weekend, and this scene in particular stood out to me. Note that The Money Pit was released in 1986, well before anyone outside of academia or government had any clue what the internet even was.

Fortunately by the time I was old enough to start thinking about buying a home, there were already a variety of halfway decent options for searching real estate online. When I watched this scene, I was amazed at how far this industry has come in the past twenty-five years.

I feel serious pity for anyone who had to experience the type of situation depicted above when making most expensive purchase of their life.

Full disclosure: The Tim is employed by Redfin.

The post Real Estate Search Hell appeared first on Seattle Bubble.

It’s time for another installment of Real Actual Listing Photos. Once a month (or so) I round up some of the most bizarre listing photos from around the Seattle area and post them here, with brief excerpts from the real actual listing description, and probably a bit of snarky commentary.

The idea for this series stems from the ongoing forum thread Detrimental Listing Photos, which is where you should post your nominations for next month’s Real Actual Listing Photos post.

Enough explanation. Let’s get to the photos! Click the photo to view the Real Actual Listing.

“Lush, mature landscaping outside.”

I think the photo of that front lawn speaks for itself, but apparently the listing agent didn’t agree.

“Home is very desirable easy going”

The listing agent for this home took 8 photos, each more unbelievably out of focus than the one before.

“This cutie is close to all of the amenities”

…and by “amenities,” I mean large, dense trees, of course.

“Charmer”

ABANDON SHIP! SHE’S GOING DOWN! ABANDON SHIP!

“Charming opportunity in North Everett awaits your buyers.”

I think “awaits your buyers” isn’t quite the right phrase to describe what’s going on here. I’d go with “lurks sinisterly in the shadows.” Photo 4 in this set is pretty great too.

“Features a formal living room with valuted ceilings, bay window with seating area.”

…oh, and a possessed kitchen. Did we mention the possessed kitchen? Oh well, they’ll find out about it soon enough on their own.

Let me know if you have an idea for another “Real Actual Listing Photos” theme.

The post Real Actual Listing Photos: Bank-Owned Edition appeared first on Seattle Bubble.

a story about REALTOR open houses

Has Mel been shooting his mouth off in some pro-REALTOR rants or something? I could maybe see how that would keep people away from buying homes in Washington.

Time to add a new tag: mismatched-photo.

The post Mel Gibson Repressing Washington State Home Values? appeared first on Seattle Bubble.

The idea for this series stems from the ongoing forum thread Detrimental Listing Photos, which is where you should post your nominations for next month’s Real Actual Listing Photos post.

Enough explanation. Let’s get to the photos! Click the photo to view the Real Actual Listing.

“Whimsical beauty!”

For just $1.75M, you can combine your bathroom and your library!

Photos here. Also note the random office chair in what appears to be some sort of kitchenette.

“incredible 40x 60 concrete building”

For $2.2M, it had better come with your very own train to put on those tracks.

“Incredible lower level includes large rec room, bath, wine cellar, half kitchen, & step-up media/theatre room.”

Oh wait, did we forget to mention that after you pay $1.6M, you still have to finish the “step-up media/theatre room” yourself? We were hoping that if we spelled “theatre” all British-like it might distract you from that unfortunate fact.

“Bring your vision, your architect and your contractor.”

…and if you’ve got any money left after dropping $1.4M on this place, you might want to also pick up a steel-bristled brush to scrape all the weird green gunk off the pier and the rust off that bench.

“Exquisite residences provide unmatched indulgences… Homes share no vertical walls…”

I guess these $1.1M townhomes share some of those funky horizontal walls, then? Hmm. It’s a little hard to tell from the primary listing photo.

“…use it now or build to the future.”

It’s a little hard to figure out from the photos what exactly is for sale for $1.3M here. Are they selling a house, an intersection, or a parking lot?

Let me know if you have an idea for another “Real Actual Listing Photos” theme.

The post Real Actual Listing Photos: Multi-Million-Dollar Edition appeared first on Seattle Bubble.

The idea for this series stems from the ongoing forum thread Detrimental Listing Photos, which is where you should post your nominations for next month’s Real Actual Listing Photos post.

Enough explanation. Let’s get to the photos! Click the photo to view the Real Actual Listing.

“Nothing like this on the market today.”

Note that this is the primary photo. Hat tip to tomtom.

“Instant equity for you.”

Also check out the spacious laundry room on that one.

“loads of potential”

I guess the current owners never realized that potential because they were too busy watching TV?

“Charming and cozy”

At first I thought that was a pink pony on the fridge there, but it’s just some kind of pink bear. How sad. Hat tip to tomtom.

“amazing views of the city”

Amazing. Hat tip to AD.

“Built in 1905, this turn of the century charmer could be restored to it’s original splendor.”

The entire photo set on that one is worth clicking through. Yikes. Hat tip to Everett_Tom.

Let me know what you think of this as a recurring monthly feature.

The post Real Actual Listing Photos: Take 1 appeared first on Seattle Bubble.

Anybody care to explain: A) Why REALTORS™ still get free advertising like this from local newspapers, even after years of crap like this (pdf “fact sheet” from 2006)? B) What the heck is that photo supposed to have to do with the story?

The post Open House Traffic is Serious Business. appeared first on Seattle Bubble.

Look at this highly reliable chart of OPEN HOUSE TRAFFIC©® sent to me by a trustworthy leading industry representative:

Just look at it. How can anyone deny the undeniable power of rapidly-increasing foot traffic in open houses? You can’t, so don’t even try.

And obviously, what does skyrocketing OPEN HOUSE TRAFFIC©® lead to? Inevitable and immediate recovery in prices, of course! Here is a just-released home price projection from the industry’s leading professional association:

Amazing, isn’t it??? Clearly anyone who does not jump into the housing market THIS VERY MINUTE is a complete and utter fool. A moron with maggots for brains.

Still don’t believe me? Look at this chart, which shows the undeniable effects of the expiring tax credit, the impending explosion of interest rates, and home prices shooting through the roof.

If you buy today, you can get the house you want and still have $100,000 left in the bank for a new Hummer (I hear they’re going to be collector’s cars soon!) or a vacation to Paris or something. BUT IF YOU WAIT, the purchasing power of your money drops dramatically while simultaneously the price of even a mobile home in Sultan becomes out of reach within just a few months.

You read it here first, folks. Buy now or be sorry!!!

The post New Data Conclusively Proves April 2010 Is The Bottom appeared first on Seattle Bubble.

Granted, we’re not talking about a lot of money here (relative to the cost of most Seattle-area homes), but fifteen refinances in less than five years?!? Followed (not surprisingly) by a foreclosure last year. That has to be some kind of a record.

The post Housing ATM: We Have a Winner appeared first on Seattle Bubble.

Option 1: A 3,150 square foot “beautiful, well maintained Craftsman” sporting an “open floor plan with designer touches,” located on a 4,584 sq. ft. (0.1 acre) lot in the idyllic 47th parallel north right here in Seattle.

Craftsman not your cup of tea? Take your pick one of 33 Seattle homes in the same general price range, including this 1,815 sq. ft. condo or this 3,200 sq. ft. beast of a house described in the listing as “magnificent,” “expansive,” “elegant,” and “stunning.”

Option 2: Your very own 25-acre private island. Two two-bed, two-bath cottages, one with a hot tub. Located in the 40th parallel south in Chile, considered one of South America’s most stable and prosperous nations (by Wikipedia anyway).

Hmm…

The post Million Dollar Decision Making appeared first on Seattle Bubble.

“Tired of setting your money on fire every month?”

“Stop throwing away your money renting!”

Maybe you thought that the dramatic and decisive collapse of the housing bubble would have rid us of this type of nonsense marketing. Well, you thought wrong. The twist this time though, is that the advertiser in question isn’t pushing residential real estate, but 800-1,500 sqft garage bays in a sort of garage condo type building.

Setting Your Money on Fire

Tired of setting your money on fire every month, renting storage?
…
Lots of you… have stuff you love or hobbies you love with no good place to put it or do it! GarageTown solves that problem forever, while you make a smart investment in commercial real estate.
…
Stop paying rent!

You Don’t Even Have to do the Math

If… you’re renting commercial space, your cash flow is taking an unnecessary beating.
…
Stop throwing away your money renting, and start saving by owning.
…
Check out the five-year financing plans available. You don’t even have to do the math! We did it for you!

I thought you all might get a good afternoon laugh out of those ads.

The post Stop Setting Your Money on Fire Every Month! appeared first on Seattle Bubble.

• 4-bed, 4.5-bath 2-story in Magnolia
• 4,440 sqft
• 5,029 sqft lot
• 2008 property tax bill: $18,286
• “sweeping sound and mountain views”

An example of a $2.5 million property in Wisconsin:

• 2-story stone lodge in Couderay
• 407 acres
• 37-acre private lake
• 2008 property tax bill: $14,948
• 8-car garage
• guard tower
• “massive fireplace, a caretaker’s residence and other outbuildings”

Oh, and the second one happens to be formerly owned by one Al Capone.

When I do finally decide to jump into the housing market, I think I’d be doing myself a disservice not to seriously consider other parts of the country where your housing dollars seem to go a bit further than they do in Seattle.

Hat tip: Calculated Risk.

P.S. – Yes, I realize the $2.5 million price tag on Capone’s hideout is the starting bid for a foreclosure auction which is not really directly comparable to the price of a MLS-listed home. This post is meant to be light-hearted. Note the “Humor” tag.

The post High End Real Estate: Seattle vs. Wisconsin appeared first on Seattle Bubble.

One thing led to another, somebody posted it to Reddit where it subsequently made the front page, and before you know it, guess which two homes are the most popular in all of Snohomish County on Redfin?

Who knew MS Paint could be so effective?

[Update]
Everett_Tom strikes again, pointing out that the MS-Paint-ified photo was just grabbed from Snohomish County records!

Before MS Paint

After MS Paint

The post Need a Little Green? MS Paint to the Rescue! appeared first on Seattle Bubble.

You want to buy as soon as you see prices going up. Never mind that it’s a seller’s market and you’ll have to pay more today than you could have for that same property last year. If prices are going up, the home you buy today will be worth even more next year and, hopefully, more still the year after that. You want to catch and ride the wave.

And this:

How Do You Know When the Market Turns Around?

It’s easy to tell. You can simply read the real estate articles in your local newspaper.
…
Or you can make contact with a real estate broker, announce that you want to wait until the market gets better, and ask for a call when there’s a turnaround.

Following below is a four-page excerpt from this 238-page book of gems that I found to be especially entertaining. I hope you enjoy it as well. Click any page to enlarge it to a more readable size.

Mr. Irwin also wrote another, more recent book that was even more well-timed: Tips & Traps for Getting Started as a Real Estate Agent, published in 2006.

The post Homebuying Tips and Traps from 1996 appeared first on Seattle Bubble.

The post Dilbert: “I Can’t Afford My Mortgage…” appeared first on Seattle Bubble.

Check out this spam I recently received:

From: 1 Day Dough
To: The Tim
Subject: Flip REOs With Proof Of Funds

It’s no secret that the biggest area of opportunity in Real
Estate right now is in For’eclosures. There is a tidal wave of
them for us to ca’sh in on.

The rules of engagement have changed though.

The good news is I’ve cracked the code and so no there’s NOTHING
to hold you back.

Join me Thursday June 4th at 8:00 PM ET /5:00 PM PT for a fr’ee
webinar where I will share with you the details on how you can
start flipping For’eclosure deals immediately with none of your
own mo’ney or cre’dit.

Space is limited. Reserve your seat now here

[website address removed]

Here’s to you and me making 2009 our best year EVER!

W’ow. I should probably ju’mp on this opportunity right AWAY!

The post Foreclosure Flipping Scam Spam appeared first on Seattle Bubble.

From D.R. Horton: Smaller is better in some markets, May 5th:

D.R. Horton’s chief executive says smaller, more affordable homes are selling well in some areas and will bring higher profits to the nation’s largest home builder.

CEO Donald Tomnitz said the smaller homes were particularly popular in Seattle and Portland, Ore. Smaller homes are cheaper to build and attract first-time buyers because they are priced competitively with foreclosures.

From Weyerhaeuser CEO: Housing excess ‘made up for’, April 21st:

Weyerhaeuser CEO Dan Fulton (Weyerhaeuser owns Quadrant Homes) – “We see some signals that average home size is declining. That to me makes sense. It’s simpler. It’s smaller, and that’s bringing that home price back down to the point where your average prospective homeowner with the median income can buy a new home.”

Meanwhile, on 196th Street in Lynnwood:

Hmm…

The post Small House, Big House appeared first on Seattle Bubble.

San Diego, CA
Central San Diego County SFH resale median: $300,000
Central San Diego County SFH new construction median: $355,000
Central San Diego County SFH + condo median: $270,000
March ’09 San Diego metro area unemployment rate: 9.3%

Notes: All King County home price info via NWMLS, San Diego home price info via DQNews. All home price info for March 2009. Unemployment data for Seattle via Workforce Explorer, San Diego via Workforce Partnership. No, I don’t want to move to San Diego—I personally like the rain. This post is an attempt at humor, intended to lighten up the mood on a rainy day.

The post Public Service Announcement: Seattle vs. San Diego appeared first on Seattle Bubble.

Mark Zimmerman (zim) had a problem that many have been faced with thanks to the housing bubble:

A few years back, I got tired of living the American Dream and struggling to keep up with a horrendous mortgage and rising credit card debt. I know there’s really only two ways to balance a budget, spend less or earn more, and I didn’t see a huge wage increase in the future. Also, I have always been interested in unusual homes and can’t pass a two or three hundred square foot enclosure without wondering what interesting living space could be made there. Less space, less stuff, less consumed, less owed. It sounded like where I wanted to be.

So what was his solution? Convert an old bus into a cheap home, of course!

Then, I got a call from a buddy that purchased a pair of used school buses from the Texas A&M surplus property auction. He knew I had been interested in one and was willing to hold on to it until I could head out to pick it up. I got myself to College Station, spent a few days changing fluids, ripping out the seats and doing general preventative maintenance. Then, for about $1400 for the bus and another $600 in diesel (probably twice that, now), I headed back to Florida with the beast. Two years later, I’ve got a fully functional, comfortable, clean living space for about $12,000 and my monthly housing and utility costs are less than $400/month.

It’s no Ballard Craftsman, but I guess it’s a step or two above living in a van, down by the river.

Hat tip: Boing Boing

The post DIY Solution for Affordable Housing appeared first on Seattle Bubble.

Hat tips: Marlow Harris @ 360Digest & Matt Goyer @ Urbnlivn.

The post Wait, what kind of condos? appeared first on Seattle Bubble.

The post Debt: The American Way appeared first on Seattle Bubble.

Hey gang, it’s me again. Just wanted to update everybody on our big road trip. We’ve seen lots of places all across the country. It’s fun seeing new places. It’s like, as exciting as you can expect places outside of Seattle to be, anyway.

January 2:

Happy New Year everybody! Since I last popped in, we’ve driven through Dallas, New Orleans, Tallahassee, and stayed a few days in Fort Myers Beach on the gulf coast of Florida, where we rang in the new year, followed by a day trip to North Captiva Island.

While these places were all fun, I’m sad to report that I still haven’t found a place as special as Seattle yet. Here’s a quick rundown of what these places are missing that could make their real estate market invincible like our own.

Dallas / Ft. Worth: Where are the mountains? I didn’t see any. It’s just flat and brown as far as the eye can see. Yuck. Also, we drove right through town in the middle of the afternoon rush hour, and hardly hit any traffic at all. Those Silllyheads have built too many freeways. How can they expect downtown real estate to gain value when it’s so easy for people to get where they’re going?

New Orleans: We visited the French Quarter for lunch. It was a pretty wild experience! New Orleans totally has a lot of history, but you know what they don’t have (other than protection from hurricanes)? That’s right, Boeing and Microsoft. How can a city expect to have valuable real estate without special employers like that?

Tallahassee: Wow, there was like, nothing going on in this town. Seriously, the capital of Florida is the capital of boring. What do people do around here for fun? I mean, there’s no mountains, I didn’t see a single REI (where do they get their gore-tex?), and there definitely weren’t any Space Needles or EMPs. As our first stop in the so-called “sunshine state,” Tallahassee was a bit of a disappointment.

Fort Myers Beach: This beach town sure had a lot of people from all over the place for new years. And yeah, they had sunshine and temperatures in the 80s. But seriously, that would get so old like, fast. I guess you could say that they’re running out of land, since it is an island after all, but warm temperatures and sandy beaches are hardly a match for mountains, lakes, and Ballard.

North Captiva Island: OMG guys, I swear like, half this island is for sale! We rode on a golf cart from the marina to the house our friends were renting for the week, and like, nearly every other lot had a for sale sign out front! My guess is that people are selling their island vacation home here so they can buy a cute rambler in Kirkland. Best move they ever made, if you ask me.

Well, that’s all for now, gang. I’ll report back again in a few days. We’ve still got a long ways to go before we make it back home to the most specialest place in all the world!

The post Dispatches from the Road: TX, LA, FL appeared first on Seattle Bubble.

Editor’s Note from The Tim: I’m pleased to introduce Crystal, the pretty pink pony; mascot of Seattle real estate. She’ll occasionally pop in (especially over the next few weeks) to share some of her thoughts about the Seattle real estate. She has a… unique perspective that I hope you will find entertaining. Please give her a warm Seattle Bubble welcome.

Hiya gang! I’m Crystal, and I’d like to thank The Tim for this opportunity to share some of my thoughts with you while we travel across the country! I’m so excited about Seattle’s real estate market, and like, this chance to see how other places stack up against our totally awesome town!

December 26:

Today we drove through Arizona and New Mexico. We drove through Flagstaff and Albuquerque, but sadly, we did not get to visit Phoenix, since we stuck to I-40. It was pretty and all, but I can easily see why real estate prices are dropping down here. First off, there’s like, a ton of land down here! I mean, in Seattle we’re totally running out of land, but in Arizona and New Mexico you can see for miles without even spotting a single house. Definitely not special.

Seriously, check it out:

The southwest also comes up short on specialness ’cause it’s way too sunny. As you can see in that picture, here in late December the sun is still shining away. What’s with that? Hey Arizona, hey New Mexico, have you met my friend Winter? Bleh. What fun is a state where it’s this sunny in December? No wonder people don’t want to buy homes here anymore!

Also, I kept a pretty keen eye out for the most common signs of specialness, and was mostly let down. Here’s how Arizona and New Mexico stack up on the checklist:

• Microsoft & Boeing: Barely.
• Trees: Not enough.
• Mountains: Yep!
• Rivers and lakes: Not many :(

As you can see, Arizona and New Mexico don’t have much hope of ever being as special as we are in Seattle. They are fun places to visit, but don’t count on real estate there to make you rich.

The post Dispatches from the Road: Arizona & New Mexico appeared first on Seattle Bubble.

Paul Campbell, Some rights reserved.

We’ve analyzed the local market from every conceivable direction, explained all the logical reasons why today’s Seattle home prices are not sustainable, watched the national housing market turn from boom to bust, but still the home price increases in Seattle carry on. At this point, there is only one logical explanation why home prices in Seattle have not fallen: Seattle truly is incredibly special.

Of course, I don’t just mean “special” as in “isn’t it nice to live in a place with such delightful weather, exciting sports teams, and enlightened liberal politics that have solved all of our social problems.” Sure, those things are great, but lots of cities can make the same claims (San Francisco, New York, etc.). No, in order to truly understand why real estate prices in Seattle will never go down, one must consider so much more.

Indisputable facts that make Seattle the most specialest place on the planet:

• Every single house sold has stunning views of Mount Rainer, The Olympics, Puget Sound, and at least three lakes.
• The Microsoft money factory in Redmond runs non-stop, printing millions of hundred-dollar bills every hour, which are loaded into Boeing planes and dropped from the sky daily, scattering the free money to all homeowners.
• Every homeowner is issued a brand new pretty pink pony at closing. (Thanks, Chris)
• 

  The waters of all the rivers and lakes contain healing powers that extend life indefinitely, thus allowing homeowners to take on increasingly longer-term loans. This will inevitably lead to the “forever loan,” in which principal is never paid down, only interest paid, while the homeowner merely kicks back and enjoys the unending benefits of double-digit appreciation.

• Ballard.
• Thanks to Growth Management, not only is it true that “they’re not making any more land,” but in Seattle, the available land is actually shrinking daily! By 2050, the only buildable land will be within a five-block radius of the Space Needle. 2,000-story ultra-luxury condos will be erected, which will range in cost from $500 trillion dollars for a 50 square foot “sleep pod” to $42 septillion for the 500 square foot “presidential suite.”
• Stunning rainbows fill the sky every afternoon (see above).

Yes, Seattle is truly one in a million. One in a billion. One in a googolplex. With inventory at near-record lows and pending sales increasing over thirty-four percent from January to February, it’s plain to see that there’s no stopping Seattle’s equity spaceship. Of course, all you really need look at is how much prices have appreciated in just the last year (11%, thank you very much) to realize just how special Seattle is.

It is time for this blogger to face the facts: Seattle home ownership is the path to indescribable happiness and untold riches. That’s why I’m closing this blog, quitting my job, becoming a full-time Seattle-area home buyer, and recommending that all my readers do the same.

The post Seattle Bubble Concedes Defeat appeared first on Seattle Bubble.